Faith, Chronic Illness, and Staying Honest With God

I recently joined L. A. Sprague on the Christians With Chronic Illnesses podcast for an honest conversation about living with a body that keeps changing—and trying to hold onto faith without pretending the hard parts are easier than they are.

I shared more of my health story, including fibromyalgia, ankylosing spondylitis, nerve pain connected to degenerative disc problems, hyperthyroidism, kidney failure following a medication reaction, and an atypical presentation of POTS. I also talked about the parathyroid problem I am currently navigating and how it has affected my heart rate and blood pressure.

It has been a long, exhausting road of symptoms, appointments, questions, and tests that did not always explain what I was experiencing.

During the interview, we talked about finally receiving greater clarity through specialized testing at Mayo Clinic. We also discussed why standard test results do not always capture what is happening in a person’s body—and how discouraging it can be to keep advocating for yourself when you are already tired from being sick.

What We Talked About

In this conversation, we discuss:

• My journey through multiple chronic illnesses and changing health problems

• The medication reaction that led to kidney failure

• Living with an atypical presentation of POTS

• How specialized testing at Mayo Clinic helped uncover answers

• Why a standard or “normal” result may not tell the whole story

• Learning to trust what your body is telling you

• Continuing to advocate for yourself when you feel dismissed

• The emotional weight of ongoing medical uncertainty

• Practical things that help me through difficult symptom days

• Making space for anger, grief, questions, joy, and faith

What Helps Me on the Hard Days

We also talked about some of the simple, practical things I reach for when symptoms or anxiety feel especially heavy.

That can include heating pads, ice packs, hydration, worship music, and hobbies that give my mind somewhere else to rest for a while. I shared a five-senses grounding exercise that can help when anxiety begins to take over.

None of these things makes chronic illness disappear. They are simply small ways of caring for myself inside a difficult day.

Sometimes that is what coping looks like—not solving everything, but finding one gentle thing that helps you get through the moment you are in.

You Can Be Mad at God and Still Be Faithful

One of the most meaningful parts of our conversation was talking about honesty with God.

Chronic illness can bring anger, disappointment, grief, confusion, and questions we may feel afraid to say aloud. In some Christian spaces, we can feel pressure to make those feelings sound more faithful before bringing them to God.

But God does not need an edited version of us.

You can love God and still be angry about what is happening. You can trust Him while carrying questions you cannot answer. You can feel grateful for parts of your life and grieve what illness has taken from you.

You can be mad at God and still be faithful.

Faith does not require us to pretend we are okay. It gives us somewhere to bring the truth.

Gentle content note: This conversation includes chronic illness, medical uncertainty, medication complications, kidney failure, and difficult healthcare experiences. Please listen in whatever way feels kindest to you.